One of our seminary assignments for Hebrew Poetry and Contemporary Ministry was to write a psalm.  I chose to write one of lament. I meant to post this earlier and must have forgotten.  Found it in my draft folder.

(For those that do not know me, this lament is not autobiographical.  Mine would be boring.) 

 

A Male, Middle-aged, Modernist’s Lament

My ex-wife mocks me before her support group as they sit close on my Italian leather,

               While they laugh at me as they sip their wine.

My children call me by my first name

               While my mother curses my birth,

My church has edited me off its membership list

              While my pastor does not even know my name.

My heart lives in fear of being laid off.

             While my soul is already in recession.

My head is balding, my waist increasing, my savings depleted, my home lost

             While my pride is destroyed. 

My soul aches for belonging

             While I only find new ways to be abandoned.

 

My world has lost its way!

            I have lost my way!

There is no truth, no justice, no compassion, no peace and no love. 

It would have been better to have been aborted than to have entered this reality.

But praise the Lord for His faithfulness

                   For He remembers the broken-hearted.

Mocked by society but encouraged by God.

Disrespected by my own blood, but delivered by the Redeemer.

Forgotten by pastors and parents, but my name is tattooed on the arm of my Lord.

Laid off by employers, but promoted by the Almighty.

Embarrassed by my body but God has healed my soul.

 

Praise the God of second chances.

Praise the Father for not neglecting His children.

Praise the One who never edits, deletes, or forgets His worshippers.

Praise the Provider for in the midst of depression, He gives confidence.

Praise the Lord for hearing my cries and for His comfort.

 

But praise the Lord for His faithfulness

Perhaps I am among the minority who loved 2008.  At times I feel like the happiest guy in the room but I’m not sure if that’s because I don’t complain as much as some others, or if I am such a pessimist that I’m just happy to be alive and that any good thing is a great thing to me or that I am hardwired as a joyful person (yep, a joyful pessimist. My mom tells me that I used to wake up singing in the crib.  Those infant bible stories of Paul and Silas singing in the jail cell must have really spoken to me). 

I extend my sympathies to those who had a difficult 2008, however, I will always look back with fond memories of 2008.  It sounds dramatic but it was an incredible cross point in my life. For me and my family, many prayers were answered.  We saw the Lord work in beautiful ways.  From our adoption to saying goodbye to our dear grandmother to the coming of our new senior pastor to many other moments. 

(Though I do not believe that you can categorize your life, these types of lists tend to work better if you do).  Highlights and Memorably Moments for us a Family – Susan and I adopting Nathan.  We adopted from FL and after he was released from the hospital to our custody, Susan and him spent a couple days at her parents while I flew back to NJ and spent the next week at Babies R’ Us and various baby outlets and sections.  They made it back right before Mother’s Day and I was scheduled to preach that Sunday.  Happy to say all went well and it was a beautiful day as so many of my family and extended family were there.  My grandmother was just released from the hospital and we celebrated at her house.  I could go on and on but again, it was a beautiful day.  Then there was first Father’s Day, first portraits, Adoption Day!, First day he slept through the night, First Christmas …

For years and years I, along with my family members, agonized over the day that our grandmother, “Teta”, would no longer be with us.  After her health declined to such a terrible extent and being in the hospital more days than not, she went home to be with her Savior on June 6^th.  While I take heart in the fact that she no longer suffers, we all miss her.  I’m grateful for our memories, the impact that she had on our lives, her compassionate love she gave us and for the work of God in her life.  Though it was a great honor for me to share a eulogy at her service, I felt privileged to be on of our grandchildren.

Highlights of the Youth Ministry Year – 

– Our Winter Retreat was a hit.  The theme was “Are We There Yet?” and it was a discussion on the movie “Saved!”.  Dealing with the topics of hypocrisy and love, we had some solid conversation on pet peeves within the church, the challenges we face as a community and as individuals and other worthy topics.  We also had a great time with each other.  While there were glitches and criticisms, it was probably the best retreat that I’ve been part of.

– “Senior Sneak” and the Graduating Class of ’08. Hmmm, the class of ’08.  Some were thorn in my fleshand some were God-given allies for a youth pastor.  In the end, they were all my friends.  There’s been an on-going tradition to take the graduating seniors on a secret trip.  We took them to see Seinfeld in Connecticut and drove back down and stayed at a church member’s house at the Jersey shore.   The next day, we spent some time at the beach, reflecting on life, God, us and the future.  We drove to Philly and an enjoyed a great meal at a nice restaurant and had many laughs and memories.  They were a big class, a very involved one and they are missed.

– Going with Evan to New Orleans – I’ve blogged about our time and New Orleans here, here and here.  Some of our students have been really altered by this trip and it has sustained my belief in the virtues of short-term mission trips. 

“Personal Enrichment” Highlights of the Year – The Q Conference, Emergent Mid-Atlantic withPeteRollins, Reclaiming Paul Conf.,  John Franke’s Installation at Biblical with (McLaren, McKnight, Yoder and Keel), Seeing Tom Wright with the fellows, NYWC in Pittsburgh with Tim and seminary friends … and all the books and podcasts, all the conversations, the blogs, the music, the movies, and whatever else!  A lot of incredible knowledge passed through my brain this year. 

Other great moments include – enjoyed making some new friends this year, deepening friendships with others, and thanks to Facebook, reconnecting with old-school friends.  Loving my church, Fusion Student Ministry,  and Biblical Seminary experience (Cohort 10 – best ever!).  

Two big answers to prayer have been the hiring of new senior pastor, Sam and our new Jr. High Pastor, Tim.  The search for a new senior pastor was tricky because one of the reasons I came to this church was because of our previous one.  He was a good man, great pastor, and I enjoyed working for him for the duration that I did.  It was sad to him go but I was encouraged by the new search committee that had been put together.  They were so sharp and had a great deal of collective wisdom, I was thrilled to see the Lord working through them.  Within a year they found Sam and his wonderful family.  So far so good but I anticipate myself saying that for a long while.

Then there was Tim who started the same time as our new sr. pastor.  As many youth pastors, he had a rough first church experience which the pragmatist in me loves because it led him here.  I kid, I kid, it was a tough experience for him, but our students and church are reaping the benefits of the lessons he learned and the person he is.  Aside from needing help in the children’s ministry department, our church is running out of staff-related excuses to run this place.  I’m grateful to be serving in a church like this.

Historically, we witnessed a black president being voted in, the Giants beating the undefeated Patriots in an incredible Super Bowl, the Dark Knight, the Phillies finally winning and other incredible things.

A lot more to say, but 2008 was a good year – Happy New Year friends.