Reflecting on Father’s Day 2015

IMG_5757Father’s Day 2015 – feels like a lot going on. On my side, it was the first one with our newest and fourth child, Baby Bri. Four kids wasn’t exactly the plan, but Brianna is making the case that it should have always been. She’s a really sweet kid, full of smiles and giggles, loves the attention, and we think she’s going to be a lot of fun. How are things with four little kids? Well, it’s like this – we couldn’t get a great picture with all 4 of them … and me.

For some, Father’s Day is amazing. For some this is IMG_5764their first one and so a big congratulations to them – I hope you enjoy many more. I consider my first Father’s Day to be a very significant day of my life, a very spiritual one, and was grateful to have spent it with our son and my own dad.

But beyond the “firsts,” the great pictures, memories, funny stories, there is a whole lot of complexity. As with all family relationships, the father-figure is challenging, and while it can bring great joy and love, it can also bring tension and even great pain. Every mother, father, spouse, child, sibling, and every family relationship fits and moves across this scale of beauty/love and tension/pain.

As with every holiday, observance, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, these are challenging days. Probably like you, I think of my friends who have estranged relationships with their dads and families. I think of the dads who have passed on from this life and the children who miss him dearly. I think of young fathers going through painful times, I think of fathers who have had to bury their sons way too soon. I think of a dear friend of mine who would have celebrated his birthday and Father’s Day together and I still mourn his passing. I also think of [Read more…]

“Why Do Some Never Grieve With Us?” Reflecting on the #CharlestonShooting, #CharlestonTragedy

How do we respond to the tragedy in Charleston, South Carolina that left nine dead after a shooter entered the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church during a Bible study? How do we respond?

Maybe like me, you’ve been walking around with heavy heart from upon hearing of the news, maybe you find yourself easily agitated when it’s discussed on television, online, or in person. For me, I find myself angry every time I think about the suspect joining them for an hour during their Bible study. I imagine people said hello to him, I imagine them welcoming the stranger. They likely assumed he was seeking God and perhaps the community of others. I find myself baffled that he didn’t change his intent but rather he still carried out his hideous and deadly plan that was rooted in blatant racism towards the black community. I am shocked and angry and grieving.

This is cause for grief. During such times, I am among those that believe a first and necessary step is to grieve and lament such moments. This happened, it’s tragic suffering, it’s senseless, it’s evil = we lament and grieve.

At every cultural tragedy, there are many who are asking another set of questions towards the seemingly non-grieving. “Why aren’t you hurting with me/us and grieving too?”  and “Why does it appear that you never grieve any of the cultural tragedies?” and “Do you only grieve your pain?” Among many other legitimate questions, one that some need to answer in their own hearts is “Do you ever grieve for a black person?” [Read more…]

For Father’s Day, Consider #FatherFactor – I Have a Chapter In It, Along With People You May Have Actually Heard Of ;)

Hey Friends, would love to recommend the book ‪#‎Fatherfactor‬ as a Father’s Day gift. I have a chapter in it and with all sincerity, there is so much goodness throughout. Grateful to be included, hope others find our words worthwhile.
You can read more here –

And you can buy in on Amazon here. – Thanks for supporting the project.

This is reposted from the initial launch:

Father_Factor_Cover_200dpiI’m so grateful to announce that I have a chapter in a book that will be released next  week: Father Factor: American Christian Men on Fatherhood and Faith published by White Cloud Press. It’s Book 5 of the amazing I Speak For Myself Series. 

Here’s how we’re describing the project:

Father Factor explores the intersection between faith and fatherhood, probing the resonance and dissonance created when men examine fatherhood in all its permutations, and how it is informed by and informs their faith.

There are a wide variety of Christian faith perspectives represented in the book and many ethnicities. The contributors include ministers, professors, a real estate agent, an actor, nonprofit leaders, stay-at-home dads, and a call center representative, from locations as far apart as Honolulu, HI, to Paris and all points in between. They each have a compelling story about faith and fatherhood.

Fatherhood is quite the complicated subject for all of us. For obvious reasons it transcends culture, generation, s [Read more…]

When I’m Afraid to Say Anything in a World Filled with Outrage, Over-Reaction, & Trolls

Caityln Jenner, the Duggars, police officers, race-relations, same-sex marriage being debated at the Supreme Court and many other topics have shown us that public discourse has been tense and the air of conversation is feeling thinner than usual. I imagine things will worsen with the Presidential election season. Though I know so many whom have tried their best to opt out of the culture-war, it feels unavoidable these days and I lament this feeling.

As evidenced on our streets, our televisions and on our social media screens, societal anger is on high. Further, I cannot count the number of people whom I have been around whom have admitted, “I’m afraid to say anything anymore.” Me too.

These words have included my extroverted friends, some of my activist friends, and even some of my most prophetic-voiced friends. Some of us are tired of all the outrage and the feigned outrage, the trolls and the bullying in its countless forms. Some of us are also weary of the hurt that is being caused, including the hidden pain we might never know. I’m moved by this. As much as I want to speak truth in love and contribute to the [Read more…]